I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
