she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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