is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
