and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just had sex on a roof
Randomize
