After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
