How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
