Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
