Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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