Your mouth is God's brothel.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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