I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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