My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
