Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
