yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
