Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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