you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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