So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
