It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
