And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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