you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
