Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
