grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
