sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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