The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
