she looked like the before picture.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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