Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I would fuck him just for his dog
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
