if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
