Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
