gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
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