I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
