i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
