she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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