how can u be prego again
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
