Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
