im about as happy as oj after his trial
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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