the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
