am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
