there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
