i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
