booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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