I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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