There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You did what with his pubic hair?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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