omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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