bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
