I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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