Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
