One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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