Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
