it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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