Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
