got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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