i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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