hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
